A day of reflection, sadness, and thanks

Here I sit approximately 400 miles from home. Outside my window is a beautiful view of a lake and a priceless sunset. And yet I am somewhat sad.

Today was an emotional roller coaster for me as I thought about my son. He is with me here and everywhere. But I need to feel his hugeness,,,he was 6 feet 4 inches tall and gave the best hugs. He constantly showed me how much he loved his mother and I. And since his passage to the other side of life that is missing.

Since I became a part of the grieving parents guild I had heard that my address book would change. Meaning that some of the people who you thought were closest to you fade away and some of the people who you thought were not close become even closer.

Now don't get me wrong, I am fortunate to have such wonderful support from our family and most of our friends. These are the ones that realize that the wound is still fresh and that this will never go away...it will always linger just below the surface...lying in wait for some reminder to allow it to break through the surface and sting again.

In Sir I have found such immense comfort. Yes he is not my son, but he has given me happiness. I love him...not ashamed to admit it. And I feel that he loves me too. I am his human and he is my horse! He is big and strong yet docile and loving in his own way. The feeling I get when he comes when called and even when he is not is indescribable. He sees me and walks over. When he rests his head on my shoulder and leans against me with just enough pressure to let me know that he wants to be with me and close.

As a bonus, I am grateful for North Shore Horse Rescue and Sanctuary's humans.
There is Tom and Laurel who own it and do such wonderful work for the horses. The personal sacrifices that they make are unbelievable. They have welcomed me from the start of my joining them as a volunteer. They are caring and loving people. They have treated me like family and have welcomed me with open arms. I can honestly say that I would do anything for them. They understand my grief and have answered my prayers with Sir.

Then there is Sue the Volunteer Coordinator, Beth who is now the Treasurer, but was the Volunteer Coordinator who first invited me out and supported me all along.  The boarders, Pete, Patricia, & Rosemarie...who took the time to listen and who have also become friends of mine. And of course my fellow volunteers, Kale, Nicole, Elizabeth and her daughter Erika, Tammy, Louise and others who make me feel at home and who share my passion for the horses.

As you can see NSHRS is a sanctuary for Horses and Humans alike. That is why I will do whatever I can to raise money and awareness to ensure that it carries on.........